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A Warner Bros./Village Roadshow Pictures/Infinitum Nihil/GK Films/Zanuck Company Release
Cast: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller, Chloe Grace Moretz, Bella Heathcote, Gulliver McGrath, Ray Shirley, William Hope, Alice Cooper, Christopher Lee
Produced by: Richard D. Zanuck, Graham King, Johnny Depp, Christi Dembrowski, David Kennedy
Screenplay by: Seth Grahame-Smith, from a story by John August and Grahame-Smith and based on the television series created by Dan Curtis
Directed by: Tim Burton
Running Time: 113 minutes
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 (for violence, some language, sexual content, and some drug use)
In a nutshell: Despite top-notch talent in front of and behind the camera, superb production values, and a typically off-kilter Johnny Depp performance, this adaptation of the 60’s TV show is one of Tim Burton’s lesser efforts.
Even if they called it quits right now, the actor/filmmaker partnership of Johnny Depp and Tim Burton will still go down as one of the most unique and unpredictable. From their first collaboration, 1990’s Edward Scissorhands, to last year’s billion-dollar grossing Alice in Wonderland, you never quite know what to expect from this team (unlike, say, the John Ford/John Wayne or Martin Scorsese/Robert De Niro combos).
With Dark Shadows, an adaptation of the soapy television series created by Dan Curtis that ran on ABC from 1966 -1971 and their eighth film together, Depp and Burton have come up with a typically oddball pastiche that takes full advantage of the idiosyncratic tastes of both. But this time, they are letdown by a script that eschews strong story and structure for a film filled with “moments” that prove to be only fitfully entertaining.
After a strong opening providing us a quick backstory for our “hero” Barnabas Collins (Depp), outlining his family lineage in 18th century Maine and the way he eventually was cursed to live on as a bloodsucking vampire by vengeful witch Angelique (a vampy Eva Green) before being buried in a coffin by the angry townspeople, the film moves forward to “modern” 1972 where Victoria (Bella Heathcote), a mysterious young woman arrives into town via train to interview for a governess position at Collins manor.

The Collins estate ain’t what it used to be. The flagship port business is dwindling and the mansion looks abandoned, despite the presence of matriarch Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer) and her daughter (Chloe Grace Moretz), brother Roger (Jonny Lee Miller) and his son David (Gulliver McGrath), and Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), the shrink assigned to David, still grief-stricken over the tragic disappearance of his mother not too long ago. There’s also a groundskeeper (Jackie Earle Haley, nicely cast) and a housekeeper (Ray Shirley) who seems to have been around since Barnabas’ days.
Speaking of Barnabas, the lovesick vampire is inadvertently released from his prisoner state by some construction workers. Thinking he is still in his own time, Barnabas promptly returns to his home only to be faced with his dysfunctional descendants, all of whom, save for Elizabeth, think he is a long lost uncle from Liverpool. Once he sets eyes on Victoria, Barnabas is convinced she is the reincarnated version of his lover, who fell to her death when Angelique cast a spell on her.
A prominent theme in Dark Shadows is that “blood is thicker than water,” used here both in the literal and figurative sense. The fact that a nearly two hundred-year-old vampire would prove to be the glue that bonds this fractured family together is a wonderful angle to work off, yet the screenplay, credited to (lightweight) it-writer of the moment Seth Graham-Smith (author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, soon to get its own cinematic treatment courtesy of Burton) seems more interested in fashioning gags at the expense of McDonald’s, counterculture hippies, new technology, and Alice Cooper, who plays himself and is referred to as “the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen” by Barnabas. And because the film opts to treat Barnabas as a comic “fish-out-of-water” figure rather than the tragic one that he was on the television series, the relationship between him and Victoria is almost immaterial.

Dark Shadows is also handicapped by a structure that seems almost non-existent. We are meant to believe that the film will be told from Victoria’s point-of-view, but the character disappears for huge chunks of time and is marred by flashbacks where we are needlessly given snippets of her backstory. Meanwhile, Angelique is revealed to be the CEO of a rival fishery which has taken over the port town, prompting Barnabas and Elizabeth to take action in order to save the Collins name, while multiple family members have secrets of their own that reveal themselves in haphazard fashion. Don’t even get me started on the blood transfusion subplot involving Barnabas and Dr. Hoffman…
In the end, there is way too much setup with not enough payoff.
Where Dark Shadows does triumph mightily, however, is in the technical categories. Utilizing his usual team of behind the scenes talent, Burton seems to have pushed his collaborators in ways that have brought the best out of them as the film has a wonderful, almost monochromatic look, courtesy of France’s Bruno Derbonel (A Very Long Engagement, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince), that clashes nicely with the pastels the 1970 period screams for, while production designer Rick Heinrichs, who oversaw the construction of the massive Collins manor and Maine port sets at London’s famed Pinewood studios, and costume designer Colleen Atwood, both longtime Burton vets, presumably had a field day with their jobs.
While the performances and production values are typically top-notch and the movie gains steam in a wildly over-the-top battle climax that evokes the infamous Meryl Streep/Goldie Hawn fight in Death Becomes Her (although I could’ve done with a typically nonsensical twist involving one of the Collins family members), Dark Shadows turns out to be the weakest Burton film since 2001’s ill-fated Planet of the Apes remake. Much like Barnabas after a two century long sleep, it left me walking out of the theater in a rather cold state…
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