IN THEATERS: Tim Burton’s “Dark Shadows”

Shant’s rating:  out of 

A Warner Bros./Village Roadshow Pictures/Infinitum Nihil/GK Films/Zanuck Company Release

Cast: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller, Chloe Grace Moretz, Bella Heathcote, Gulliver McGrath, Ray Shirley, William Hope, Alice Cooper, Christopher Lee

Produced by: Richard D. Zanuck, Graham King, Johnny Depp, Christi Dembrowski, David Kennedy

Screenplay by: Seth Grahame-Smith, from a story by John August and Grahame-Smith and based on the television series created by Dan Curtis

Directed by: Tim Burton

Running Time: 113 minutes

MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 (for violence, some language, sexual content, and some drug use)

In a nutshell:  Despite top-notch talent in front of and behind the camera, superb production values, and a typically off-kilter Johnny Depp performance, this adaptation of the 60’s TV show is one of Tim Burton’s lesser efforts.

Even if they called it quits right now, the actor/filmmaker partnership of Johnny Depp and Tim Burton will still go down as one of the most unique and unpredictable.  From their first collaboration, 1990’s Edward Scissorhands, to last year’s billion-dollar grossing Alice in Wonderland, you never quite know what to expect from this team (unlike, say, the John Ford/John Wayne or Martin Scorsese/Robert De Niro combos).

With Dark Shadows, an adaptation of the soapy television series created by Dan Curtis that ran on ABC from 1966 -1971 and their eighth film together, Depp and Burton have come up with a typically oddball pastiche that takes full advantage of the idiosyncratic tastes of both.  But this time, they are letdown by a script that eschews strong story and structure for a film filled with “moments” that prove to be only fitfully entertaining.

After a strong opening providing us a quick backstory for our “hero” Barnabas Collins (Depp), outlining his family lineage in 18th century Maine and the way he eventually was cursed to live on as a bloodsucking vampire by vengeful witch Angelique (a vampy Eva Green) before being buried in a coffin by the angry townspeople, the film moves forward to “modern” 1972 where Victoria (Bella Heathcote), a mysterious young woman arrives into town via train to interview for a governess position at Collins manor.

The Collins estate ain’t what it used to be.  The flagship port business is dwindling and the mansion looks abandoned, despite the presence of matriarch Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer) and her daughter (Chloe Grace Moretz), brother Roger (Jonny Lee Miller) and his son David (Gulliver McGrath), and Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), the shrink assigned to David, still grief-stricken over the tragic disappearance of his mother not too long ago.  There’s also a groundskeeper (Jackie Earle Haley, nicely cast) and a housekeeper (Ray Shirley) who seems to have been around since Barnabas’ days.

Speaking of Barnabas, the lovesick vampire is inadvertently released from his prisoner state by some construction workers.  Thinking he is still in his own time, Barnabas promptly returns to his home only to be faced with his dysfunctional descendants, all of whom, save for Elizabeth, think he is a long lost uncle from Liverpool.  Once he sets eyes on Victoria, Barnabas is convinced she is the reincarnated version of his lover, who fell to her death when Angelique cast a spell on her.

A prominent theme in Dark Shadows is that “blood is thicker than water,” used here both in the literal and figurative sense.  The fact that a nearly two hundred-year-old vampire would prove to be the glue that bonds this fractured family together is a wonderful angle to work off, yet the screenplay, credited to (lightweight) it-writer of the moment Seth Graham-Smith (author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, soon to get its own cinematic treatment courtesy of Burton) seems more interested in fashioning gags at the expense of McDonald’s, counterculture hippies, new technology, and Alice Cooper, who plays himself and is referred to as “the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen” by Barnabas. And because the film opts to treat Barnabas as a comic “fish-out-of-water” figure rather than the tragic one that he was on the television series, the relationship between him and Victoria is almost immaterial.

Dark Shadows is also handicapped by a structure that seems almost non-existent.  We are meant to believe that the film will be told from Victoria’s point-of-view, but the character disappears for huge chunks of time and is marred by flashbacks where we are needlessly given snippets of her backstory.  Meanwhile, Angelique is revealed to be the CEO of a rival fishery which has taken over the port town, prompting Barnabas and Elizabeth to take action in order to save the Collins name, while multiple family members have secrets of their own that reveal themselves in haphazard fashion.  Don’t even get me started on the blood transfusion subplot involving Barnabas and Dr. Hoffman…

In the end, there is way too much setup with not enough payoff.

Where Dark Shadows does triumph mightily, however, is in the technical categories.  Utilizing his usual team of behind the scenes talent, Burton seems to have pushed his collaborators in ways that have brought the best out of them as the film has a wonderful, almost monochromatic look, courtesy of France’s Bruno Derbonel (A Very Long Engagement, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince), that clashes nicely with the pastels the 1970 period screams for, while production designer Rick Heinrichs, who oversaw the construction of the massive Collins manor and Maine port sets at London’s famed Pinewood studios, and costume designer Colleen Atwood, both longtime Burton vets, presumably had a field day with their jobs.

While the performances and production values are typically top-notch and the movie gains steam in a wildly over-the-top battle climax that evokes the infamous Meryl Streep/Goldie Hawn fight in Death Becomes Her (although I could’ve done with a typically nonsensical twist involving one of the Collins family members), Dark Shadows turns out to be the weakest Burton film since 2001’s ill-fated Planet of the Apes remake.  Much like Barnabas after a two century long sleep, it left me walking out of the theater in a rather cold state…

 Shantipedia © 2012

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FIVE REMAKES (IN THE PIPELINE) THAT SHOULD NOT EXIST

You would think that we would all be used to the horrid trend that Hollywood has adopted in remaking every single movie made twenty years ago and beyond, but in a month that saw an unusually high amount of remake announcements, I still can’t help but let out a loud and exasperated groan.

While most of these remakes never get passed the pre-production phase – films that have been earmarked for another go ‘round in the past but have yet to see one minute of footage shot include Commando, Scarface, The Wild Bunch, Hellraiser, Point Break, Starship Troopers, Wargames, Death Wish, Escape from New York, and Short Circuit – there are quite a number of recent announcements that take the “WTF?!?!” cake.

Below is a list of five awful remakes that have either been just-announced or about to go into production (note: films that have been completed and await release are not on this list – the damage has already been done on that end).  While I am against remakes in general, I also am objective enough to admit when a remake outdoes the original (Ocean’s Eleven) or is able to stand on its own (The Italian Job, Insomnia).  What particularly annoys me about the remakes on this list is that the originals were truly unique and remain so to this day.

The five films on this list don’t need to be remade and it is doubtful that they will bring anything new or fresh to the table, with the number one pick being the most outrageous, ill-advised, and offensive choice of them all…

5.  LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (1987, directed by Frank Oz) - This one is a little tricky, as it’s too early to tell whether this will be a remake of the original Roger Corman cult classic or the supremely entertaining movie musical directed by Frank Oz (Dirty Rotten Scoundrels) that starred Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, Steve Martin, John Candy, Christopher Guest, and Bill Murray and featured songs by a pre-Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast Alan Menken and Howard Ashman.  Considering that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is producing and presumably starring in the redo (he’d be a no-brainer for the role of the shy shopkeeper Seymour, played by Moranis), I’m going to bet that it’s the movie musical version (hey, the musical number Gordon-Levitt took part in 500 Days of Summer was pretty great).  This one is a tad difficult to get too angry at.  Gordon-Levitt is a talented and likeable star and I am sure he will do the stage musical justice if he indeed goes that route.  But Oz’s original is one of my all-time fave musicals and the mix of top comic talent and excellent production values made for a wonderfully fun movie musical (this despite the controversial decision to alter the original stage version’s darker ending).  I’m just not sure any remake would do it justice…worse still, Audrey II, the man-eating plant that befriends Seymour, will probably be a fully computer-generated character and the film will most likely be shot in 3-D.  Thanks, but no thanks.

4. ROBOCOP (1987,  directed by Paul Verhoeven) – Several years ago, ailing movie studio MGM decided the best way to dig out of the financial mess it had found itself in was to simply reach into its vast vault (which also includes films released by the defunct Orion Pictures and Cannon Films) and simply remake its name-brand catalog films.  Unfortunately, MGM was not able to completely follow-through with this plan.  What films actually went through the remake pipeline either flopped (Rollerball) or were shelved (Red Dawn) when the studio decided the only way out of their mess was to file for bankruptcy.  Now, newly rejuvenated through Roger Birnbaum’s Spyglass Entertainment, MGM is following through with its original promise and opening the floodgates once again.  High on the remake list is RoboCop.  Paul Verhoeven’s original remains to this day one of the best action films of the 80’s and one of the shrewdest and funniest sci-fi satires of all time.  I can’t imagine a remake even coming close to what Verhoeven was able to pull off and it says a lot that such names as The Empire Strikes Back director Irvin Kershner, comic-book author Frank Miller, and Lethal Weapon scribe Shane Black were not even able to come close to Verhoeven’s vision with the two misbegotten sequels.  Attached to direct the remake is Brazilian filmmaker Jose Padhilla, whose two Elite Squad films showcased his knack for action filmmaking, with The Killing’s Joel Kinnamen cast as Murphy, the ill-fated Detroit cop who is brutally gunned down in the line of duty only to be resurrected as the titular character.  Kinnaman has gigantic shoes to fill – Peter Weller will forever be RoboCop to many people and it’s unfortunate that his performance in the first film never gets its proper due.  When Weller was replaced by Robert John Burke (TV’s Person of Interest, Tombstone), a good actor in his own right, with RoboCop 3, the character was just not the same…The remake is on the cusp of going into production shortly with a reported $100 million budget, so we will find out soon enough how badly this is going to get bungled…

3. POLTERGEIST (1982, directed by Tobe Hooper) – Another one of MGM’s catalog titles to get the remake treatment, Poltergeist remains to this day one of the best haunted house movies of all time.  It also had the creative guidance of Steven Spielberg, who came up with the story and was at the peak of his powers at the time of the original film’s production.  The remake is being spearheaded by none other than Sam Raimi, who will serve as producer but not direct the film.  While this isn’t the worst sin Raimi has committed (for that, please see the #1 choice on this list), it is a tad disconcerting to see his name attached to as needless a remake as Poltergeist.  While the original birthed two awful sequels, neither of which involved Spielberg or Hooper nor diminished the power of the first film, the timing of this announcement seems suspect considering the success of the Paranormal Activity franchise and James Wan’s Insidious, the Poltergeist-esque thriller which was a surprise hit last year.  Me thinks this is a cash grab and nothing more…

2. SUSPIRIA (1977, directed by Dario Argento) – Suspiria, the masterpiece from Italy’s king of horror, giallo filmmaker Dario Argento, is a film of singular vision.  So what the hell is David Gordon Green thinking signing on to helm the remake?  And which David Gordon Green signed on?  The one responsible for George Washington and Undertow or the pod person hack who directed Your Highness and The Sitter?   Does it matter?  While not everyone’s cup of tea, Suspiria, with it’s unshakeable imagery and iconic Goblin soundtrack,  is nevertheless a film that can’t easily be replicated.  Gordon Green has an uphill battle to fight and while filming is scheduled to commence sometime in September, it’ll be interesting to see if this ill-fated project goes past the pre-production phase.

1. THE EVIL DEAD (1981, directed by Sam Raimi) – Production has just begun on the remake to one of the best horror films of all time, The Evil Dead.  What is really bothersome with this remake, the worst offender on this list by far,  is that all the principals involved with the original, namely writer/director Sam Raimi, producer Robert Tapert, and star Bruce Campbell (who played the iconic, wisecracking, chainsaw-wielding hero, Ash), pretty much spearheaded this remake (all three are producers), which is being directed by supposed wunderkind Fede Alvarez.  What’s even worse is that it seems Ash is not even a character in this version, with the lead role going to Jane Levy from television’s Subargatory.  I don’t know about you, but that’s sort of like remaking Die Hard and dropping John McClane as your main character (note to producers and studio execs: please don’t remake Die Hard).  The Evil Dead was one of the great success stories of the 80’s, a micro-budgeted fright flick made by a bunch of film geeks from Michigan.  Raimi himself (sort of) remade the first film with the “sequel” Evil Dead 2, which eschewed the nastiness of the first film with Three Stooges-inspired slapstick (and I worked like a charm), so this remake is even more of a head scratcher.  To further confuse things, Raimi recently sued producers over the rights to Evil Dead sequels which makes one wonder what else he’s got planned as far as this franchise is concerned.  A huge miscalculation on everyone’s part, this Evil Dead remake is bound to satisfy no one – save for the wallets of the producers.

Shantipedia © 2012

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FIVE GREAT (ACCIDENTAL) MOVIE IN-JOKES

Sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction.  Unless you are Nostradamus or Emmet “Doc” Brown, no one truly knows the future.  But there comes times when art proves to be quite premonitory as the following five examples, which include a total of six movies, clearly show.

It’s always fun to speculate whether these instances of looking into the crystal ball were happy (and in some cases, unhappy) accidents or coy setups for future endeavors by the talent in front of and behind the camera.  In many of the cases, the real life counterpart to the reel life event is so similar, that it’s scary.  Some things, clearly, one can’t make up.

I present to you five wonderful, horrifying, crazy, wacky in-jokes in six movies that happened to occur after the fact, meaning they are in-jokes now but were not upon the film’s original release.  One word of warning – spoiler’s are aplenty, so proceed at your own risk!

ROBERT BLAKE REVISITS HIS KILLER ROLE FROM IN COLD BLOOD (1967) – Based on Truman Capote’s controversial and revolutionary non-fiction novel of the same name, Richard Brooks’ In Cold Blood was a movie of equal footing, featuring two unforgettable turns by Robert Blake and Scott Wilson (currently on AMC’s The Walking Dead), playing a pair drifters who end up murdering a farmer and his family in rural Kansas circa 1959, and haunting black and white cinematography by the late master, Conrad Hall (the film was nominated for four Oscars, including Best Director and Best Cinematography).  The film put Blake, a journeyman actor up until that point, on the map and the intense actore would later star in the television show Baretta, playing the cockatoo loving, master of disguise detective that would garner him an Emmy.  In 2001, Blake and his then-wife Bonnie Lee Bakley were having dinner at Vitello’s, an Italian restaurant in Studio City.   While waiting for Blake in their car, Bakley died from an apparent gunshot wound to the head.  Almost a year later, Blake was arrested for her murder and immediately proclaimed his innocence (his excuse was – no lie – that he was not near the car when it happened because he had gone back into the restaurant to retrieve his .38 caliber pistol).  The trial brought back memories of the O.J. Simpson case and Blake’s reputation was tarnished.  He was acquitted in 2005 and Blake has not been heard from since.

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MAGGIE SMITH WINS AN OSCAR FOR PORTRAYING AN ACTRESS WHO LOSES AN OSCAR IN CALIFORNIA SUITE (1978) – The second of Neil Simon’s Suite Trilogy, which also includes Plaza Suite and London Suite, Herbert Ross’ California Suite portrays a bevy of characters involved in three stories all set at the famed Beverly Hills Hotel with an all-star cast that includes Alan Alda, Jane Fonda, Richard Pryor, Walter Mathau, Elaine May, and Bill Cosby.  In one of the stories, Maggie Smith plays Diane Barrie (played by Maggie Smith), a neurotic, over-the-hill British actress in Los Angeles with her patient husband (Michael Caine), where they are to attend the Oscar ceremony in which Barrie is a nominee.  In a true “stranger than fiction” moment, Smith would end up winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her turn as an actress who does not win the Oscar.  Unlike her first-time nominee character, Smith was a prior winner (for Best Actress in 1969’s The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie), but her win here added a nice footnote to Oscar (and film) history.

WOODY ALLEN AND MIA FARROW’S RELATIONSHIP GOES KAPUT IN HUSBANDS AND WIVES (1992) – Woody Allen and Mia Farrow’s relationship had been going for a strong decade and change when Allen started production on Husbands and Wives, a seriocomic look at marriage and divorce.  While the two were never married, they had one biological son together, as well as a slew of adopted children (you might say that Farrow, involved in many activist causes, was the Angelina Jolie of her time).  In the film, Allen’s character, Gabe, who is married to Judy (Farrow), has an adulterous fling with one of his poetry students (played by Juliette Lewis), leading to the dissolution of his marriage.  While Husbands and Wives was in post-production, it was revealed that Allen had been involved in an inappropriate relationship with one of their adoptive children, Soon-Yi Previn.  The scandal rocked the industry, even more so due to the fortuitous timing of the film’s release, leading some to refer to the film as almost autobiographical (Allen would constantly deny this).   Farrow and Allen immediately parted ways, leading to a nasty and very public custody battle for the couple’s children.  Allen continued his relationship with Previn afterwards, eventually marrying her in 1997.

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ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER IS ELECTED TO HIGHER OFFICE IN DEMOLITION MAN (1993) – In a film filled with many in-jokes/gags (a popular one featured the fact that Taco Bell eventually won the franchise wars, therefore “all restaurants are Taco Bell”), Demolition Man, a fun science-fiction pastiche featuring Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, and a pre-Speed Sandra Bullock, included one that, while not 100 % accurate, was still eerily prescient nonetheless.  While on their way to dinner at the aforementioned Taco Bell, newly thawed out cop John Spartan, awakened in a utopian future where swearing isn’t allowed and sea shells have replaced toilet paper to catch killer Simon Phoenix (Snipes), learns that, due to the amended Constitution, foreign-born Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected to the U.S. Presidency.  While our Constitution still only allows U.S. born individuals to be eligible for the Presidency, Ah-nold was elected as California governor during the infamous recall of Gov. Gray Davis in 2003.

DOWNTON ABBEY WAS CONCEIVED DURING THE BOND MOVIE TOMORROW NEVER DIES (1997) AND ROBERT ALTMAN’S GOSFORD PARK (2001) – Okay, so pinning the origins of Masterpiece Theater’s Downton Abbey, which recently wrapped its second season and has dutifully found its place in pop culture, on Robert Altman’s seminal film Gosford Park is pretty obvious.  The creator of Downton Abbey, Julian Fellowes, won an Oscar for his screenplay and the film shares the PBS show’s DNA in depicting the dichotomic relationship between British aristocracy and the butlers, maids, and servants who care for them, as well as Maggie Smith, who appears in both.  But, my dear reader, Gosford Park was merely Phase 2 in Fellowes’ master plan.  For the very first seed of conception, one must go way back to 1997 when Tomorrow Never Dies, Pierce Brosnan’s sophomore outing as Agent 007, was released.  Before Fellowes gained plaudits for his writing, he was a lowly character actor who was a mainstay in British television and appeared in a handful of films as well (he portrayed Winston Churchill in the same year twice in two different productions, one being on The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles TV show).  In Tomorrow Never Dies, the 18th “official” Bond movie, Fellowes was cast as the Ministry of Defence.  Joining him in the film were no less than three actors who would later appear in major roles for Abbey:  Hugh Bonneville (Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham), Brendan Coyle (fan favorite valet, Bates), and Miss Moneypenny herself, Samantha Bond (Robert’s sister, Lady Rosamund Painswick).  So is the Bond connection to Abbey coincidence or careful planning on the part of Fellowes?  Probably coincidence.  But I love the idea of Fellowes watching his fellow actors at work and thinking “Once I get this Abbey show off the ground, this actor playing the seaman would be perfect for the valet character…”

© Shantipedia 2012

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IS THE TROUBLED “Red Dawn” REMAKE ON THE ROAD TO SUCCESS?

The teaser poster for the remake - notice the release date.

Of all the films released in the 80’s, the least likely candidate for the remake treatment would be Red Dawn.  Released in 1984 at the height of the Cold War, if one movie perfectly encapsulated the Reagan era, it was this one (if I were to choose two movies, the second would be Rocky IV).

Co-written (with Kevin Reynolds, who would later direct Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and Waterworld) and directed by John Milius, Red Dawn proposed a scary yet highly improbable scenario: What if Russia and its Communist brethren Cuba decided to engage in a full-fledged attack on small town America?  And what if our only means of hope lay in not our fathers and sons, policemen and soldiers, not even the National Guard, but a group of ragtag high school kids?

It’s a right winger’s wet dream come to life and the reason the film worked as well as it did was because of Milius, a hawkish, Teddy Roosevelt –worshipping,  pro-gun conservative who was also an immensely talented writer/director.  Pals with Steven Spielberg in the 70’s and part of the filmmaker’s small circle of film geek collaborators, Milius was (at least partially) responsible for writing Quint’s famous Indianapolis monologue in Jaws, co-wrote 1941 (with Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale), and has co-written and/or directed a nice array of films, including The Wind and the Lion, Big Wednesday, Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now (he coined the infamous “I love the smell of napalm in the morning” line),  Conan the Barbarian, and Walter Hill’s Extreme Prejudice.    Milius is also a celebrated script doctor who has left his stamp on an indelible group of films, including Dirty Harry and The Hunt for Red October.  The character of Walter Sobchak, played by John Goodman, in the Coen Brother’s The Big Lebowski was based on Milius, so that should give more perspective on the guy.

With Red Dawn, which, for all you trivia hounds out there, was the very first film to be rated PG-13, Milius seemed to have delivered a film that played both as an entertaining “what-if?”  and a pretty good representation of where he stood politically. Featuring an impressive, Brat Pack-ish cast that includes Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, C. Thomas Howell, Lea Thompson, and Jennifer Grey, with small turns by Harry Dean Stanton and Powers Boothe, Red Dawn was obviously aimed at a more younger crowd who, in the era of Rocky and Rambo, Schwarzenegger and Norris, were able to finally see heroes they could truly relate to.  When the evil Reds parachute down in front of a high school and immediately shoot and kill a teacher in the film’s opening scenes, it’s the kids that take action, managing to escape and start a resistance group, which they dub “Wolverines” after their school mascot.  At a time of uncertainty, when good and evil was literally black and white, Red Dawn fit the bill.

Unfortunately, it’s that very reason that Red Dawn seemed like such a poor choice for a remake.  The film plays more like a time capsule now, a valid yet ultimately dated representation of a bygone era.  It’s fun in a cheesy, guilty pleasure sort of way.  Red Dawn was simply a movie of its time and any remake would dilute the concept of the film, thus making it an utterly futile endeavor.

The orginal "Wolverines" from the 1984 original...

MGM, the beleaguered studio that released Red Dawn, had been in trouble for many years when it decided to remake the film.  In the past decade or so, as part of a strategic plan to put some sheen back into Leo the Lion, MGM decided to dig deep into their vast library, one of the biggest of all the studios, and start remaking some of their more popular catalog titles.  A pair of Norman Jewison films, The Thomas Crown Affair and Rollerball, were both remade with John McTiernan at the helm with mixed results.  Other films on tap to be remade included Child’s Play, WarGames, Poltergeist, and RoboCop.  The Red Dawn remake went into production in September 2009 with former stunt coordinator Dan Bradley at the helm.  Milius, who of late has not worked much, was not involved with the production (he will receive a story credit along with Reynolds) but commented with his typical bravado to the L.A. Times when asked what he thought of his film being redone: “I think it’s a stupid thing to do. The movie is not very old.”

Milius was allowed to read the script of the remake, however, and had more to say about it:  ”It was terrible. There was a strange feeling to the whole thing. They were fans of the movie so they put in stuff they thought was neat. It’s all about neat action scenes, and has nothing to do with story.”

All things considered, there were no high hopes for this Red Dawn remake, further dashed when MGM’s financial hardships finally reached a zenith point. Originally set to open on November 24, 2010, the film, along with Zookeeper and The Cabin in the Woods, was shelved indefinitely when MGM filed for bankruptcy (Zookeeper has since been released via a partnership with Sony, while The Cabin in the Woods will be out in theaters April 13 through Lionsgate).  By the start of 2011, it seemed that Red Dawn was going to remain in limbo, another remake that bit the dust.

But then a funny thing happened on the way to the movie theater…

In September of 2011, Film District agreed to take over distribution duties for the film and has now set a November 2, 2012 release date.  And in an industry rarity, the amount of time that has passed since production ceased might actually bode well for the film.

...and the new class from the 2012 remake.

The cast of Red Dawn 2012 (which is how it shall be referred to from now on) includes Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, Adrianne Palicki, Josh Hutcherson, Isabel Lucas, Connor Cruise (son of Tom), and Jeffrey Dean Morgan.  When cameras started rolling in 2009, none of these actors were household names.  What a difference a few years make.  At the time, Hemsworth was best known for his small but crucial part as Kirk’s dad in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek reboot.  His role here, presumably the one played by Swayze in the original, would have been his first major lead.  Instead, his first major lead ended up being in a little film called Thor in which he was cast as the titular hero.  Hemsworth more than held his own in that film, proving to be a charismatic lead who, as a plus, wears a beard really well. With that film having grossed $449.3 million worldwide, the Aussie actor suddenly found himself with some cachet.  He will again play Thor in Marvel’s much anticipated ensemble piece The Avengers and will appear as the male lead in Snow White and the Huntsmen, both to be released this summer ahead of Red Dawn 2012.

Another male member of the ensemble, Josh Hutcherson, also saw his stock rise in the past year.  He was cast as Peeta, one of the male leads, in the film adaptation of The Hunger Games, based on Suzanne Collins’  YA book (Hemsworth’s brother Liam was cast as Gale, the second male lead).  The film opened last week after much anticipation, grossing over $150 million and breaking box-office records.  One of the female leads, Adrianne Palicki, late of television’s Friday Night Lights, also has a major role in another potential summer blockbuster, G.I. Joe: Retaliation.

The fact that a movie that has been gathering dust for almost two years now has some weighty stars in its cast, all of whom appeal to the young demographic, is amazing in itself.  But the odd production history of Red Dawn 2012 does not end there.  In a bit of post-production tinkering that is unprecedented, the villains of Red Dawn 2012 are not the same villains when the film was in production.

With the fall of communism in Russia and the threat of the “evil empire” now diminished (although the recent controversial election of Prime Minister Vladimir Putin as president has caused tensions in the country as well as Stateside), Red Dawn 2012 needed a new world power to serve as its villain.   China seemed like a logical choice from an ideological standpoint, although Milius dutifully pointed out in that same interview, “There’s only one example in 4,000 years of Chinese territorial adventurism, and that was in 1979, when they invaded Vietnam, and to put it mildly they got their [butts] handed to them…Why would China want us? They sell us stuff. We’re a market. I would have done it about Mexico.”

Not the real John Milius...but close.

But in the eyes of the filmmakers, it seemed no other nation other than China matched the enormity of the Russkies in the first film.  But tensions between China and the U.S. are nowhere near where it was between the U.S. and the Soviet Union.  In fact, since the economic meltdown of 2008, the U.S. has had an uneasy interdependence with the Chinese, with the communist country holding roughly 26% of our global debt.  Furthermore, as domestic box-office continues to take a nose dive due to a rickety economy, higher ticket surcharges, and poor product, the international audience has become more important to a studio’s bottom line.  Earlier this year, the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America), the industry’s preeminent lobbyist group responsible for rating films and monitoring piracy, reached a massive agreement with the Chinese market, paving the way for more movies to be released as a means to curb Web piracy, which is rampant in that country.

All things considered, MGM decided that it would not be wise to bite the hand that feeds them, so to speak.  Depicting the Chinese as bloodthirsty villains who follow through with an unprovoked attack  on America would probably cut the box-office dramatically in that territory.  So their solution?  Make the villains North Korean.

North Korea has heavily been in the news for several years now, mostly depicting them as a nuclear threat.  While it’s way too early to predict what the death of “supreme leader” Kim Jong-Il and the ascension of his son Kim Jong-un will bring, the nation was just recently in the headlines again when President Obama called for them and Iran to drop all nuclear plans.

As far as a film market, North Korea’s is nonexistent.  While Kim Jong-Il was said to be a huge movie buff, the North Korean censors did not allow many Western films to make it through the pipeline.  In 2010, it was announced that Bend it Like Beckham became the very first Western film to be shown on broadcast television there, albeit in a heavily censored form – the film was cut from 112 minutes to a meager hour.

So North Korea became a more politically correct villain and at a cost of about $1 million, most negative references to China have been dropped, the opening sequence has been altered, and through various digital nips and tucks, any symbol associated with China have been replaced by one’s from North Korea.

This odd twist only seems to have enriched Red Dawn 2012.  The substitution of North Korea as the villains kind of bridges the gap between the 1984 version and the remake.  It kind of seems like such a no-brainer that one wonders why the filmmakers didn’t go with them in the first place.

So, does the fact that two of its stars have been in a pair of huge tentpole films and that the villains are now more of a “real world” threat bode well for Red Dawn 2012?  It’s hard to tell based on the fickle tastes of moviegoers today, but it certainly doesn’t hurt.  While a Red Dawn remake was never my cup of tea, I have to admit that I am a lot more curious about it now than I was two years ago.  And if Red Dawn 2012 does prove to be a huge hit, it would be a rare success for a movie shelved as long as it has, complemented by one of the strangest and most amazing comeback stories in Hollywood history…

© Shantipedia 2012

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FIVE GREAT BUDDY COP FILMS (WITHOUT “Lethal” AND “Weapon” IN ITS TITLE)

Before the term “bromance” entered the lexicon of conversation and became its own movie subgenre, there was the “buddy/cop” film. The formula was simple – two mismatched cops team up to bring down a threat of epic proportions in spite of their colossal differences, whether it be race, sex, age, lifestyle choice – you get the idea. These films usually balanced action and comedy, mixing huge set pieces with comedic vignettes.

The recent release of 21 Jump Street, which did a fabulous job parodying the formula, got me thinking of some great buddy cop films of the past. While 48 HRS., Lethal Weapon, and Rush Hour (and their subsequent sequels) wrote the book on this genre (48 HRS., released in 1982, pretty much opened the floodgates), there are plenty more out there that have done it well and perhaps better than those films.

I have compiled a list of five which I feel are underappreciated and often overlooked in the genre. All mix action and comedy, but a few also throw in horror, science-fiction, and satire in bold and creative ways. It should be noted that four out of the five films below were produced in the 80’s – in my opinion, the golden age of the buddy cop action film.

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RUNNING SCARED (1986, dir. Peter Hyams) – One year before the release of Lethal Weapon, there was a little film called Running Scared. Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal play Ray and Danny, a pair of wisecracking Chicago cops who decide to throw in the towel after a case goes bad and retire to run a bar in Key West. But when Julio (Jimmy Smits, in an early villainous turn), the vicious, drug-dealing kingpin whom the duo dub “the Puerto Rican Scarface”, threatens to turn Chicago into a crime-infested cesspool, the two decide to return to save the city they hold dear to their hearts. Director Peter Hyams has had one of those great/bad careers that have wrought some gems (Capricorn One, Outland) as well as some stinkers (End of Days, The Musketeer). With Running Scared, he’s easily delivered one of his best and most entertaining films, a fast and funny cop thriller that includes some exciting set pieces, including a car chase that ends up on the El train tracks and a wild climactic shootout at Chicago’s famed James R. Thompson Center. Hines and Crystal are perfect together, riffing off each other beautifully, and are backed by a superb supporting cast including Dan Hedaya (Commando, Clueless) as their long suffering captain, Joe Pantoliano (The Fugitive) as a slimy con, Steven Bauer (who ironically actually was in Scarface) and Jon Gries (Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite) as rival detectives, and Darlanne Fluegel (To Live and Die in L.A.) as Danny’s ex-wife. While it’s hard to decipher just how much influence Running Scared had on Lethal Weapon, it certainly deserves to be spoken in the same breath as that Mel Gibson-Danny Glover starring classic.

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HIDDEN, THE (1987, dir. Jack Scholder) – This genre mash-up combines elements of action, comedy, and science-fiction to deliver a genuinely entertaining thrill ride. When a wave of odd robberies and murders that has been plaguing Los Angeles gets out of hand, Beck (Michael Nouri), the investigating detective , is forced to team up with FBI agent Lloyd Gallagher (a perfectly cast Kyle MacLachlan) to solve the case. The neat twist here is that the perpetrator is actually an alien who jumps from host to host tin order to survive. If that’s not weird enough, Agent Gallagher harbors secrets of his own that might shed light on the case. The Hidden is one of those films that seem too ridiculous to work on paper. Yet thanks to the game cast, a clever script by Jim Kouf (under the pen name, Bob Hunt), and sharp direction by Jack Scholder (who previous film was the “so bad it’s good” A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge), the film proves that sometimes even the most inane of ideas can turn out all right if the right people are involved. The Hidden even ends on a surprisingly powerful note, an ending so good, in fact, that Terminator: Salvation decided to rip it off…

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DEAD HEAT (1988, dir. Mark Goldblatt) – Like The Hidden, Dead Heat is another genre mash-up that mixes horror with the usual action and comedy found in typical buddy cop movies. Treat Williams (Prince of the City, The Devil’s Own) and former SNLer Joe Piscopo play the aptly named Mortis and Bigelow, two detectives who have come across a wave of criminal activity that seems to be perpetrated by the undead. When Mortis falls in the line of duty only to reawaken as a zombie, he reteams with his living partner to solve his own murder, only to uncover a citywide conspiracy instead. Goldblatt, an editor whose forte includes such action movie hits like The Terminator , The Last Boy Scout, True Lies, and Bad Boys, made his feature directing debut here and while he is no James Cameron, his tongue in cheek approach makes the nuttiness of Dead Heat go down easy (where else are you going to find an action scene where our heroes go up against re-animated animal carcasses in a Chinese restaurant?). Genre staples Darren McGavin (Kolchak: The Night Stalker) and Vincent Price (House of Wax) show up for a few scenes and add to the fun. It should also be noted that screenwriter Terry Black is the brother of Lethal Weapon scribe Shane (who shows up in a cameo).

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RED HEAT (1988, dir. Walter Hill) – It’s curious why director Walter Hill bothered to make a sequel to 48 HRS. since two years prior he had essentially remade it in Red Heat – and it’s a much better film than the dismal Another 48 Hours. Russian police captain Ivan Danko (Arnold Schwarzenegger) must reluctantly team up with Chicago cop Art Ridzik (James Belushi) to bring a dangerous drug dealer (Ed O’Ross), who killed Danko’s partner in the motherland before fleeing to the States, to justice. Hill successfully replicates the gritty action (the climactic bus chase is a winner), profane dialogue, and dry humor that worked so well with the original 48 HRS., mining some great laughs out of the awkward cultural disparities between the two leads (when Art tries explaining the logistics of the Miranda Rights to Danko, capping it off with “You cannot touch his ass,” Danko replies “I do not want to touch his ass – I want to make him talk!”). Released during the height of the Cold War, Red Heat is anchored by the excellent chemistry between Schwarzenegger and Belushi, with Schwarzenegger in particular delivering a deadpan performance that is easily one of his best.

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HARD WAY, THE (1991, dir. John Badham) – Nick Lang (Michael J. Fox) is a spoiled movie star who feels that his performances have gone soft. So in order to give his next role some edge, he decides to go Method and tag along with a real cop. NYPD Lieutenant John Moss (a pitch perfect James Woods) is up in his elbows chasing down a deadly serial killer who calls himself The Party Crasher (a scarily effective Stephen Lang whom you might recognize from Avatar and TV’s Terra Nova) and has no room for a partner, much less a pansy actor pretending to be a cop. But we wouldn’t have a movie if these two didn’t team up, right? The Hard Way takes a quasi-inane premise (where television’s Castle would take a page from) and mines comic gold out of it. Much of this is due to the inspired teaming of Fox, in perhaps his last great cinematic role, and Woods, who is aided by some hilariously colorful dialogue which he milks to perfection. Director John Badham had one hit after another in the 80′s (WarGames, Short Circuit, Blue Thunder, Stakeout – another classic buddy cop film), but found his career flounder when the 90′s came around. The Hard Way proved to be his last great film and the filmmaker manages to balance the comedy and action (the climactic fight scene atop a billboard promoting Nick Lang’s latest film is a doozy) like a pro.

Shantipedia © 2012

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